Today I got a mani/pedi. It was quite enjoyable, and didn't elicit any crazy stories like the last time. I kinda missed those crazy asian ladies...
I don't know what they were talking about, but it made it kind of exciting you know? Yes, probably they were going to give me a foot massage..but they could, just as easily, have been talking about torturing me until I gave up super important government secrets (yeah, I've got some, what of it??).
That's what makes life interesting...
The ladies who beat your calves, leaving them bruised before trapping you in a prison of paraffin-which you PAY them to do...the crazy man who punishes you in Walmart of smiling back at him by following you around as you shop talking incessantly about the print shop he works in...the lady with the pet squirrel photos all over her office...the cafeteria lady who moonlights as a phone sex operator...
THIS is America people. Not farmers, not people pulling themselves up by their bootstraps, not huddling masses yearning to be free...but crazy people. Without them there'd be no National Enquirer, no People of Walmart, no Tosh.o, and ultimately, no American Idol. Crazy people keep the cogs of this big machine going.
So the next time you see the lady pushing her plastic "baby" in a carriage, or the gentleman wearing the foil hat to block his brain waves...salute them.
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