Why doesn't anyone critique the judges on these music competition shows? I know, they're seasoned professionals. They've paid their dues, and now they can sit back on their firm, but perky, asses sipping sparkling waters or jack daniels, depending on their preferences. But, I think they still deserve some scrutiny.
For instance, tonight, why is Jennifer Lopez made up like a cheap hooker? When did frosted green/blue eye shadow come back in style? I thought it was out with the whole "I wear blue eye shadow, cuz everybody knows blue shadow makes your eyes look blue", and wearing 3 pairs of multicolored socks. Apparently not. And not only is she wearing it, along with two giant circles of shiny pink blush, she is wearing it all the way AROUND her eyes. It's like an Avatar creature put on a human skin and married Marc Anthony.
Speaking of human skin, hello Steven Tyler. Don't get me wrong, I worship at his feet. There is something about that bag of bones that just drips sexiness, even at this geriatric stage of his life. But, man, DO something. He's lounging sideways in that chair through the whole show, like he's waiting for someone to pass the bong. That is, until he runs up on stage to hug someone. You've had your moment, Steven, don't make me call in two tween girls to wrestle you off the stage.
Randy? Well, Randy, what can I say, dog? Nothing. I applaud you for cutting down on your use of the word "pitchy" this season. That is all.
My final nit-pick is for Seacrest. I realize he is not a judge, but he's in our face all the time. Not only does he ask the judges and contestants inane questions that no one really cares about, he makes it a habit to embarrass the celebrities in the audience. Oh yes, by all means, Ryan, introduce Pit Bull, but ignore Marc Anthony in favor of pointing out the Kenny Rogers impersonator sitting next to him. And, while you're at it, embarrass one of the moms by having world famous part-time chef/full-time jackass, Gordon Ramsey, critique her homemade food. Very classy. When you offend a mom, you earn a very special place in hell. I hope your hair product doesn't catch fire.
Seacrest OUT!
2 comments:
I thought Ryan was pretty mean to do that too but hey, did you see the mom's face? If looks could kill and all that...
Totally. Now THERE is a reality show I could get into: When Moms Attack!!
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