Mm, I bet you make your man very happy when you go home at night.
If he's not happy, somethin's wrong with him!
Ah, how the random, often inappropriate, comments of strangers can brighten your day!
Monday, May 11, 2009
Thursday, May 07, 2009
Save the Drama
So much drama this week. It has completely exhausted me.
My cousin came into town from TX, you know the one going through the messy divorce? The one who's family (at least on his mom's side, not my side) are being really shitty to him? The one who already has a girlfriend ... who's 18? yeah.
I let them stay with me last night. You know, how can I be upset about this? It's his life. It sounds like the marriage was doomed, almost from the start, for a multitude of reasons-regardless of whether he had gotten involved with someone else or not. And who am I to judge anyway? He didn't do anything to me, his wife didn't do anything to me, his girlfriend didn't do anything to me-I am just trying to get along with everyone . . . but ultimately, he is my flesh and blood, and it counts for something.
I just hate getting in the middle. So, his soon to be ex-wife is pissed at me, sent me an upset email last night. His mom is probably upset with me for harboring his new girlfriend . . . our dogs did not get along, I didn't get any sleep, etc. etc. etc.
It's just been drama, drama, drama. And I SO don't deal well with it. Plus, I really had wanted to get back on the diet/exercise train this week, and that really hasn't happend with the upheaval in the schedule. *sigh*
But, it's not all sad, sad news. :) I have recently discovered an MFA in writing program that I am REALLY excited about applying to-I think I finally have some direction, and feel like I would love being a college instructor. The program sounds incredible, and affordable, AND it's right outside St. Louis, so it meets all the requirements (well, except for finding me a job there and a place to live and money to pay for school, etc.) BUT, I am really, really hoping to be able to pull that off this time next year. Here's hoping!
My cousin came into town from TX, you know the one going through the messy divorce? The one who's family (at least on his mom's side, not my side) are being really shitty to him? The one who already has a girlfriend ... who's 18? yeah.
I let them stay with me last night. You know, how can I be upset about this? It's his life. It sounds like the marriage was doomed, almost from the start, for a multitude of reasons-regardless of whether he had gotten involved with someone else or not. And who am I to judge anyway? He didn't do anything to me, his wife didn't do anything to me, his girlfriend didn't do anything to me-I am just trying to get along with everyone . . . but ultimately, he is my flesh and blood, and it counts for something.
I just hate getting in the middle. So, his soon to be ex-wife is pissed at me, sent me an upset email last night. His mom is probably upset with me for harboring his new girlfriend . . . our dogs did not get along, I didn't get any sleep, etc. etc. etc.
It's just been drama, drama, drama. And I SO don't deal well with it. Plus, I really had wanted to get back on the diet/exercise train this week, and that really hasn't happend with the upheaval in the schedule. *sigh*
But, it's not all sad, sad news. :) I have recently discovered an MFA in writing program that I am REALLY excited about applying to-I think I finally have some direction, and feel like I would love being a college instructor. The program sounds incredible, and affordable, AND it's right outside St. Louis, so it meets all the requirements (well, except for finding me a job there and a place to live and money to pay for school, etc.) BUT, I am really, really hoping to be able to pull that off this time next year. Here's hoping!
Saturday, May 02, 2009
Things I Wonder About . . .
Why do I love watching cooking shows, but will skip a recipe if it has too many ingredients or steps?
Why do I like silence, but hate mimes?
Why do I like silence, but hate mimes?
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Movin' On Up like George and Weezie.
I certainly have not been writing much, have I? Oh well, nothing I can do about the past-just have to move forward with high hopes that I will follow through a little better (but don't hold your breath).
I am officially moved. Woohoo! Really only a block and a half away from where I was before, but I guess that's a start. Baby steps to a new apartment, baby steps to a new job, baby steps to a new city, etc., etc.
I really do like the new place a lot. It's bright and sunny (3rd floor) and much, much roomier. I'm still in the process of getting used to where things are. Last night I tried walking around in the dark (which I tend to do for some reason) and wacked my shin several times. I don't know why I just didn't turn on the lights, but sometimes my laziness surprises even me.
Right now I am looking forward to summer-hoping to be tanner, hopefully back on board with working out (which has suffered horribly during the moving process), eating better and just having a better outlook on life all together. Here's hoping!
I am officially moved. Woohoo! Really only a block and a half away from where I was before, but I guess that's a start. Baby steps to a new apartment, baby steps to a new job, baby steps to a new city, etc., etc.
I really do like the new place a lot. It's bright and sunny (3rd floor) and much, much roomier. I'm still in the process of getting used to where things are. Last night I tried walking around in the dark (which I tend to do for some reason) and wacked my shin several times. I don't know why I just didn't turn on the lights, but sometimes my laziness surprises even me.
Right now I am looking forward to summer-hoping to be tanner, hopefully back on board with working out (which has suffered horribly during the moving process), eating better and just having a better outlook on life all together. Here's hoping!
Wednesday, April 08, 2009
Embroiled
Seems I am caught in the middle of an ugly divorce.
Not my own.
Not one that I caused.
Shocking I know.
Just a family member.
But, he asked me today to not contact his spouse anymore.
And as much as I may love him, as my blood relative . . . I told him to fuck off.
Ok, not in those exact words-but I just don't think I should have to respond nicely to comments like "I would ask that your loyalty remain with me during this time." Even though I am not related by blood to her, I love his wife dearly. DEARLY. And while I won't flaunt it in either of their faces, I am not about to just cut her out of my life because they couldn't work things out.
Not my own.
Not one that I caused.
Shocking I know.
Just a family member.
But, he asked me today to not contact his spouse anymore.
And as much as I may love him, as my blood relative . . . I told him to fuck off.
Ok, not in those exact words-but I just don't think I should have to respond nicely to comments like "I would ask that your loyalty remain with me during this time." Even though I am not related by blood to her, I love his wife dearly. DEARLY. And while I won't flaunt it in either of their faces, I am not about to just cut her out of my life because they couldn't work things out.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Back to Reality
So, it was a big downer . . . getting my hopes up, thinking I could buy a house . . . and then finding out the nasty truth that it might not EVER be a possibility. I must admit that I really spiraled down after hearing that . . . of course, it probably wasn't JUST about the house, I had something of a heartbreak this past week as well, but I don't really want to go into it. Suffice it to say that on all fronts, I got my hopes up (which never bodes well) and they crashed.
However, I am trying to be proactive about dealing with it-and while I feel a bit scrambled up inside, I am NOT going to let myself sink down, down, down. I have been hunting for apartments, and I think I may have found something worthwhile-it's right near where I live now, 2 bedrooms instead of one, and I get new carpet and to pick paint colors. That can't be all bad, can it? I get to go see it (or, one like it) tomorrow-and hopefully it will be a go. Nothing like waiting until the last minute!!
On the relationship front I will just say this: There are things I am good at with men, the actual "relationship" part? Not one of them. Case closed.
I am also currently starting out writing a book. I am sure it will fizzle out after only a few pages, that's how it usually goes-but I really like the "feel" of it so far. We'll see . . .
However, I am trying to be proactive about dealing with it-and while I feel a bit scrambled up inside, I am NOT going to let myself sink down, down, down. I have been hunting for apartments, and I think I may have found something worthwhile-it's right near where I live now, 2 bedrooms instead of one, and I get new carpet and to pick paint colors. That can't be all bad, can it? I get to go see it (or, one like it) tomorrow-and hopefully it will be a go. Nothing like waiting until the last minute!!
On the relationship front I will just say this: There are things I am good at with men, the actual "relationship" part? Not one of them. Case closed.
I am also currently starting out writing a book. I am sure it will fizzle out after only a few pages, that's how it usually goes-but I really like the "feel" of it so far. We'll see . . .
Friday, March 13, 2009
why don't you give me a nice paper cut while you're at it and pour lemon juice in it?
What am I thinking? On top of all the stressors in my life right now . . . relationships (or lack thereof), crazy-crazy-insane day after day at work, trying to become a gym rat . . .now I'm thinking about buying a house.
It's nuts. Really. I didn't even think it was a possibility, because let's just say that I am not rolling in a lot of dough here. But, I am looking into a program called ACORN that can get you low or no downpayment and I have a meeting with them next week. It's all happening rather fast, and yet, not fast enough . . . since my lease runs out on April 30th, so I'll have to go *somewhere* or pay an extra $100 a month (highway robbery!) to go on a month to month basis. So, who knows. If I have to, I could store all my stuff and live at my moms until something comes through . . . but the thought of that makes me want to break down.
And yes, I keep saying I want to move . . .and I still do. But, who knows when that might happen? At this point it could be 2, 3, 4 . . . however many years before that works out . . . meanwhile I have spent all this time putting money into someone else's pocket (more money every year, I might add).
eek.
It's nuts. Really. I didn't even think it was a possibility, because let's just say that I am not rolling in a lot of dough here. But, I am looking into a program called ACORN that can get you low or no downpayment and I have a meeting with them next week. It's all happening rather fast, and yet, not fast enough . . . since my lease runs out on April 30th, so I'll have to go *somewhere* or pay an extra $100 a month (highway robbery!) to go on a month to month basis. So, who knows. If I have to, I could store all my stuff and live at my moms until something comes through . . . but the thought of that makes me want to break down.
And yes, I keep saying I want to move . . .and I still do. But, who knows when that might happen? At this point it could be 2, 3, 4 . . . however many years before that works out . . . meanwhile I have spent all this time putting money into someone else's pocket (more money every year, I might add).
eek.
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